LIFE

I had an unfortunate interruption in my life that literally took all of the energy that I could muster within my being to move forward.  A really, really stupid decision was made by me far, far back in 2011 that came to bare later in the fall of the same year.  I paid a heavy price for my choices and bouncing back to focus on this documentary project of my Army career was sorely neglected, to the point that I was ashamed to even come back to it.  But here I am taking a deep breath and continuing mission.  What has happened since I fell off the radar?  Honestly--and I'll keep it short--DO NOT EVER, EVER, E-VER pursue a relationship within a year's time of deploying!  To do so is to simply welcome pain and suffering into your own life.  Push relationships aside and remain single! Just don't do it or else I promise, I will say "I told you so" and then give you a big hug because you'll definitely need it. LOL

PREPARATION

Up to now my unit has been very busy with so much paperwork for every soldier.  Prior to deploying we have to go through SRP (Soldier Readniness Processing).  This is basically to ensure every soldier within a deploying unit has alll personal affairs in order, primarily medical, dental, legal and spiritual/mental readiness.  So far I have gone through two levels:  SRP I and SRP II.  I am blessed that I have no physical injuries, nor health issues that would prevent me from deploying because I absolutely need to do this.  My friends don't see it this way, but I certainly understand and appreciate their concern.  But it must be said that service members enlist knowing full-well the risk they are volunteering to take.  Suffice it to say, there is no such thing as blind enlistment in an all-volunteer military.  Threat to life and limb are always at the front of my mind, among other things.  I just don't talk about it.  ...who wants to amyway?

There are still so many things left on a long list of items that I need to get taken care of before leaving the US.  When I am asked if I am nervous or afraid, my only and honest answer is that at present I am not concerned about what may happen in Afghanistan right now.  I am not in Afghanistan.  Rather, I am concerned about what may happen in the US concerning my family while I am away.  My heart is here, not over there.  I will focus on one hurdle at a time, and that is making sure my personal affairs and my family are well-taken care of in my absence for a year, and possibly longer--if you get my drift.  If I take care of as much as I can now before leaving, then I can focus on my mission and what comes my way once I am overseas so that I may come home in one peace.  Until then, I just need to make it happen.

TRAINING

At this point the only major training on the horizon is RTC (Regional Training Center) where combat support and combat service support units are given pre-mobilization training.  I am excited to get to focusing on our training and then get to our mobilization station afterward.  From what I have been told by one of my battle buddies, who has already gone through RTC, it can be a fun time for a unit to come together.  I am looking forward to it all.

I am busy with boring stuff.  This is the stuf that folks don't see and I though I'd slowly let you guys into my life a little more.  I don't want to be just a floating head telling facts and opinions about army training and enlisted life.  Although, I am working on all of that as we speak.

Right now I am having a technical setback with my camera and sorta can't shoot video for long periods of time because my charger has gone missing.  It was here before I left for raining, and now it's no where to be found--it's FRUSTRATING!!  So for now all I can pop out are these short impromptu vlogs on a very weak batter charge.  This camera sucks energy from these batteries lickety-split.

"But David if you can put out these videos why not more?"  The episodes that I've shot so far about the army took days with almost endless takes of one simple phrase that I can't get memorized.  Yes, I do follow a script--improvising what I need to say here and there.  It's tedious and the editing alone can take two to three days or more.  Vlogs are a piece of cake!  These is no thinking involved. lol

So bare with me an I"ll get back to normal as soon as possible.

This morning I woke up to my mom having an arsenal of questions that ultimately lead up to the quintessential question all sons and daughters are asked when deciding to join the armed forces, "Why do you want to join the military?"  Mom's question is fine and natural, but poorly timed--or maybe not because it got me thinking more.  To double-check my motives and reasons.  

I'll fast-forward and tell you now that I didn't give an answer because she cornered me before I was heading out the door for work and it would not be fair to her nor myself to just blurt out something.  I know my reasons, but something screamed, "This is not the time for this type of conversation."  And so I told my mom that when I get home this afternoon that we will talk about it, and she said ok.  But as I was preparing to step outside the house she stopped me and said, "I'm 59 years old and Jonathan (my brother) will have no one...no one in this world," as she started sobbing.  I think understand what my mother feels, but I immediately caught onto the underlying context--the worst case scenario:  She'll pass away, I'll get called up and die in a war, and my brother will be alone.  Again, I understand my mom's feelings, but I couldn't imagine for the life of me how I was supposed to respond to that with ten minutes before I have to literally be at work, not just on the way. When I think about it, I should have hugged my mom and told her again that we'll talk more about it this afternoon.  But I said stood there for all of ten seconds pondering what I should say, but I continued on.

A little backstory...

I do not want to share the details of my moms exact words and feelings about people dying for our country, but I'll just say that they aren't positive due to heated, long-lasting encounters with people she dislikes (and it left serious emotional scars; A BIG GRUDGE).  So the idea of one of her children joining the army to potentially die for a country that includes the continued happiness of the people she dislikes, and I'll leave nameless, it is just...out of this world for her.  And sadly, I honestly have no clue how to react to that.  Frankly, I'd probably side-step this aspect of her reason for asking me why I want to join the army.  In fact, it appears to be a distraction from the heart of the matter.  And as I realized that she asked me, "What do I need to fight for?!"  Immediately my thinking was I cannot adopt the same reason for not joining the army as her.  And when asked why I want to join, I can't think of any strong personal reasons for not joining--even in the face of being deployed "over there" from reserve status (of course, I'd be afraid, but I've accepted that reality because it's the military I'm joining, not Disney).  Finally she said to me, "In the time we live in, there will always be war."  *silence*

I know the risks and I ponder it a lot, even during the past when joining hadn't even crossed my mind.  I wondered, "What would it be like?"  So let me answer her question here, and this should help me better verbalize my reasons to my mom later today.

Why I want to joint the military (Army Reserve)

I want to serve my country.   No, our country isn't perfect.  It has many flaws, many that aren't worth defending one bit, but sooooo much more that is worth fighting for and maintaining--namely our future (the children), our history and the affect that our ideologies have had on the world (equality and freedom).  When I hear a negative remark about America, I ponder both sides of the argument to see if the critique is justified.  If it is justified, then I would suggest to that person that he or she not only talk about it, act on it, execute an effective approach to bring about awareness, and get it into the political arena within his or her home state so that change can begin to happen.  It's just that most people would rather complain, yell, shout, act out and cause a scene or hide, rather than do the dirty work that it takes to bring a matter to attention.  And this is probably the case because the process isn't a quick fix.  It's slow, may cost something (time and or money), and further personal sacrifice on some level outside of time and money.  Our Martin Luther Kings Jr.s, Rosa Parks', Ghandi's etc are fewer and far between.  Which takes me to my next point.

So I want to give, I want to serve, and meanwhile advance and improve myself as I do.  I've pondered ways to do it, and this is the choice I've made, though rigorous schedules, rules, and bodily strain are a VERY big of military life.  Furthermore, I expect to be FULLY surprised even after all I've read and have been told about the basic training and the army, and thereafter as well.  Nothing can fully prepare me, for what's to come, but I want to do it.  (To clarify however, I'm not at all interested in being on of those "HOOAH!!," jump out of planes, front line, shoot'em up, kill'em dead, fighter types.  If I wanted that I'd be thinking of an MOS (job) in Infrantry, and THEN I'd really understand where my mom is coming from. LOL  ...but that's not the case.)

Finally, I want to get a good career experience from joining the military, but I'll blog about this in detail another day though.

I'll talk to my mom this afternoon like I said. ...And I get it.  My mom is really asking, why does it have to be me?  Why do I need to join?  Let the other parents kids go to war. I'm her firstborn son of two sons.  I get it.  But again, what am I to do with myself, my career, my life?  Stand still?

 I'm 27 years old and I feel stifled.  If I thought my life and present career were satisfying, I wouldn't be bothing with the military, but I want more.  A bigger challenge.