LIFE

I had an unfortunate interruption in my life that literally took all of the energy that I could muster within my being to move forward.  A really, really stupid decision was made by me far, far back in 2011 that came to bare later in the fall of the same year.  I paid a heavy price for my choices and bouncing back to focus on this documentary project of my Army career was sorely neglected, to the point that I was ashamed to even come back to it.  But here I am taking a deep breath and continuing mission.  What has happened since I fell off the radar?  Honestly--and I'll keep it short--DO NOT EVER, EVER, E-VER pursue a relationship within a year's time of deploying!  To do so is to simply welcome pain and suffering into your own life.  Push relationships aside and remain single! Just don't do it or else I promise, I will say "I told you so" and then give you a big hug because you'll definitely need it. LOL

PREPARATION

Up to now my unit has been very busy with so much paperwork for every soldier.  Prior to deploying we have to go through SRP (Soldier Readniness Processing).  This is basically to ensure every soldier within a deploying unit has alll personal affairs in order, primarily medical, dental, legal and spiritual/mental readiness.  So far I have gone through two levels:  SRP I and SRP II.  I am blessed that I have no physical injuries, nor health issues that would prevent me from deploying because I absolutely need to do this.  My friends don't see it this way, but I certainly understand and appreciate their concern.  But it must be said that service members enlist knowing full-well the risk they are volunteering to take.  Suffice it to say, there is no such thing as blind enlistment in an all-volunteer military.  Threat to life and limb are always at the front of my mind, among other things.  I just don't talk about it.  ...who wants to amyway?

There are still so many things left on a long list of items that I need to get taken care of before leaving the US.  When I am asked if I am nervous or afraid, my only and honest answer is that at present I am not concerned about what may happen in Afghanistan right now.  I am not in Afghanistan.  Rather, I am concerned about what may happen in the US concerning my family while I am away.  My heart is here, not over there.  I will focus on one hurdle at a time, and that is making sure my personal affairs and my family are well-taken care of in my absence for a year, and possibly longer--if you get my drift.  If I take care of as much as I can now before leaving, then I can focus on my mission and what comes my way once I am overseas so that I may come home in one peace.  Until then, I just need to make it happen.

TRAINING

At this point the only major training on the horizon is RTC (Regional Training Center) where combat support and combat service support units are given pre-mobilization training.  I am excited to get to focusing on our training and then get to our mobilization station afterward.  From what I have been told by one of my battle buddies, who has already gone through RTC, it can be a fun time for a unit to come together.  I am looking forward to it all.

For those that aren't familiar with what annual training is all about, to put it simply, US Army Reserve soldiers live predominately civilian lives in their home cities.  However, one weekend out of each month they attend drill at their respective reserve units.  Additonally, one particular month out of each year, reserve soldiers attend annual training, which can last two weeks or more, depending upon the closeness of a given unit's time to deploy (usually every five years, more or less).  That should bring you up to speed on what the frenchfry I have been talking about for the last month.

I returned home Saturday evening on August 6th and couldn't have been happier to get back.  I definitely learned a bit about my MOS as I stated in an earlier entry, but also learned a lot about my unit's overall function and it's members.  Working and living in close quarters with soldiers you like and dislike for a long period of time can be stressful, annoying and strangely beneficial all at once.  Annual training is deployment-like where you are not in control of what goes on around you nor what you are tasked to do, but you suck it up and get the work done.  I guess what I'm trying to say is annual training was boring, frustrating and afforded me the time to do a lot of soul searching about what I want to do and where I want to be in my army career.  Dear God!  If I could change my MOS today, I would do it with such a quickness that I'd leave a trail of fire behind me on my way to see a career counselor.

I have been asked on many occasions whether I am afraid, anxious or excited to go to Afghanistan.  Up until June my answer has always been to some effect, "I don't know."  But now I must honestly say that my answer has changed. I dread deploying to Afghanistan as an 88N, transportation management coordinator.  Going to Afghanistan doesn't bother me so much, but the MOS and the unit with which I am deploying leaves me very unhappy and unfulfilled as a soldier.  Be not confused, as I am quite capable of doing my duty with motivation, albeit false.  But deep down I am uninspired and less interested the longer I spend with my unit.  I have found myself praying for a way out almost entirely unaware--so much that my dreams reflect my feelings.  

All I want to do is be a photographer for the Army.  The only way to do this is to get an MOS in Combat Camera or Public Affairs (the Army is doing away with Combat Camera and blending it with Public Affairs).  At any rate, I have come to realize in the last two years that videography and photo journalism is where my heart is.  I wake up every single day, grab my camera and take photos of something or someone.  The sheer joy, fulfillment and sense of purpose couldn't be more fervent within me.  I still want to be an officer, but if it means giving up commissioning to be a camera on the ground, as it were, I'd do it! There is a reason for everything and it took a month of simulated deployment with my unit to Fort McCoy to realize it.  This epiphany that I have experienced in July has altered my focus and how I will go about shaping my future for the remainder of my Army contract.

To be continued...

It's another beautiful day on the FOB. We have roughly 8 more days here during which we'll slowly begin re-deploying soldiers and equipment back to the contonement area so that we can all go home! Can't wait.

I have learned a lot about my unit and MOS, as annual training really gives one a feel for what they are supposed to be doing in the Army in a deployed environment--assuming all planned training works out, as some units didn't even achieve what they were sent here for unfortunately.

I have had the amazing privilege to work with, speak to and laugh with high ranking non-commissioned officers and officers alike and learn from them. There is a Sergeant Major here, who I must leave nameless, that is absolutely cool. He drove in one day, among many other times while I was on duty at the FOB RP Gate and I would be entirely formal with him, but he basically said not to worry, relax and "don't let this rank bother you," and added "take control of the gate". Since then we have spoken often in passing and offered each other help and ideas (at his prompting of course) on how we can better manage movement control operations while I am on duty.

On another note, perhaps the fact that we know we are in a training environment and not truly in harms way, FOB life these past two weeks has been relaxed. However, I would be to my own dismay to think that real deployed life will be the same next year.

We shall see.

Today I finally got a chance to see the forward operating base in all of it's desolate glory.  I got a short class on the operations that my unit will need to accomplish for the remaining 24 days and set up a place of operation as well.  From what I have been told there are only two showers for hundreds of people and small sleeping space in the tents.  Although there is a possiblility we may stay in the barracks and just commute back and forth to the FOB whereupon some in my unit complained that it's a very long drive from the barracks to the FOB.  I figure no matter how you shake up this situation there is simply going to be some major discomfort and we have to push through it and accomplish our mission.  As I said in my last post, this annual training will prepare us for deploying to Afghanistan next year.  We won't have definitive word on where we'll be staying until tomorrow, so this may be my last post for a while even though it was my hope to journal every so often while at annual training.  I guess I'll write it all down and scan it in later to post here afterward.  

Stay tuned.

The following are mostly frequently asked questions with a few additional lesser questions I feel should be answered and shared.  If you don't see a question that you think should have been added here please comment on this post and I will review your request.  Thanks!

UPDATE!  I just added a FAQ page above where more questions have been added.

What is your MOS?  

I am an 88N (spoken "eighty-eight november") -Transportation Management Coordinator.

Where did you go for AIT (Advanced Individual Training)?  

I went to Fort Lee, Virginia for AIT where my MOS required 6 weeks of training.

Is basic training hard?

Hell to the yeah!  ...with one caveat however.  Basic training used to be much harder in a number of aspects, but has since been changed (some would argue this by saying it was "watered down").  What should be realized is that the vast majority of new soldiers in the Army are very young and are apart of the generation that grew up with cell phones, internet, personal computers and video games (at present I had none of these conveniences for half my life and I'm only 29 years of age).  What does this mean?  This means that the many new soldiers are viewed as weak, lazy, fat, crazy, and hyper-sexually active couch potatoes COMPARED to all of the generations of soldiers before them.  And when it comes down to Modern Army Combatives Instruction, a lot of young Americans have hardly been punched in the face, let along slapped. And yet when future soldiers arrive to basic training they experience culture shock.  I know I did.

Why didn't you join the Navy or the Air Force?

The other military branches didn't have an appeal to me.  I don't really get a kick out of heights and flying, nor do I like nor want to swim (obviously this rules out being a Marine).  I have nothing against the other branches, but like all preferential things in life it's a prerogative.

Are you afraid you'll be deployed to Afghanistan?

Yes and no.  Yes, because safety is always a concern no matter what your job is overseas in a combat zone.  No.  I feel somewhat indifferent right now.  I am however, looking forward to saving a lot of money during my deployment. ;)

What is basic training like?

I get this question all the time and frankly, it's so broad and open-ended a question that it would literally fill a book if I even attempted to answer it.  The short and simpler answer is, it was one of the most exciting, scary, shocking and physically grueling experiences of my life.  And as a person who came from a poor physical lifestyle as a public school teacher to running several miles and firing weapons meant to kill other human beings (albeit the enemy), it goes without saying that basic training was life changing for me.

Are you happy that you joined the Army?

Absolutely!  The one major setback I am faced with, however, is the demanding time requirement, and as an Army Reserve soldier, this is saying a lot!  I couldn't have imagined the amount of additional time and travel that would be required beyond one drill per month and two weeks active duty out of the year.

What kind of camera do you use?

When I first started making videos for my YouTube channel, I was using my Canon Vixia HF10.  Lately, I've been shooting my videos using my Canon 5D Mark II (DSLR camera).

When are you going to make another video?

Simply put, when my job, the Army and family permit me to make another.  There is not set schedule.  I make one when I have the time and energy.  That's the honest truth.

 

This is a short film on my first 12 months since I enlisted on February 5th, 2010.  While I have been enlisted for just little bit over a year, I've only been a soldier for two months of that time.  A lot has happened--more than I was able nor wanting to share in Chapter 1 of this film.  Chapter 2 may cover more of what I left out.  For now this is the first part of my story and the goal is to continue this film project until the end of my enlistment in 2018.  The vlogs and episodes that I make time to create will provide supplemental insight into what being a soldier has brought me.  

So far this process of sharing my experiences online has been extremely rewarding in terms of the community that has begun to surround it and the feedback.  All of you who have followed my journey and have even chosen to take up a similar journey, be it in the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marine Corp are amazing.  I am inspired and I hope to inspire more to take up the cause for a country--although not perfect-- that remains a great light in a very dark world.  America is my home and it is my country.  Who will defend it, it's people and it's Constitution if no one volunteers to do the hard work?  Many are called but few will answer.